Simple Secrets of Happiness: Lessons from My Coaching Journey
I Discover Something New Every Day
Since I began my journey in happiness and well-being research, I have discovered something new every day. Specifically, I learn about people’s perception of happiness in life. I observe how they deal with or understand their own happiness.
I Share My Own Experience
As part of my coaching sessions, I share my own experience. I tell them about my challenges in life. I explain how I reached the person I am today.
First Secret: Communication Changes Everything
Here are some simple secrets I discovered. First, communication matters immensely. Yes, learning how to communicate and cope with situations transforms your life. This includes coping with people around you, work, difficult times, sickness, and enjoyment. Importantly, it even includes how you communicate things to yourself.
Most of Us Learned the Wrong Formula
Most of us learned to work hard to be happy. However, Neil Pasricha said the perfect words in his great book, The Equation of Happiness.
Just Be Happy First
Just be happy first with the things you have now. Be happy with your current life, your status, and your health. Then, move on. Most of my students keep waiting to feel this feeling or moment of happiness. They pause their lives until happiness comes and takes their hands to make them smile. Please don’t wait.
Feel Gratitude First
Instead, feel the gratitude that life has given you. Then, start your plan. Achieve your goals. Help others. Take care of your health. Take care of your beloved ones. Enjoy the moment.
Communicate with the Spirit Around You
Communicate with the spirit around you to feel the difference. Enjoy your cup of tea with your mother. Enjoy the conversation you have with friends. Enjoy your work and overcome the obstacles. Enjoy working with a team, even with its differences.
Work Environments Have Challenges
I know work environments have many challenges and obstacles. I have faced them many times. However, with the way I managed myself to communicate with others and fit with myself, I discovered something powerful. Nothing is worth getting upset about.
Just Communicate and Understand
Just communicate and understand that all this is a phase. It will pass. Focus on your work and enjoy your productivity every day.
Celebrate Small Wins
For example, if you have projects or tasks at work and you complete four or five of them, enjoy those achievements. Make a list to complete the others. Do this to feel happy, not to think of the missing five or six tasks you haven’t done yet. You have plenty of time when you stay well-organized and happy. Your peace of mind will help you communicate all this in every mindful way.
Self-Esteem Has No Price Tag
A promotion or raise feels great. But your self-esteem also holds unvalued worth. Look at how you see yourself when you look back five years ago. Notice how you have developed your skills, your communication, your life. And you’re still developing further and further. Enjoy each moment of this success.
Continual Improvement Matters
As per ISO standards, we need continual improvements. That’s what we all seek: to improve every day.
Don’t Wait for Others to Motivate You
When I asked my students, “Do you have self-motivation?” most of them looked for others to start. Again, don’t wait. Communicate immediately to your mind to motivate yourself. Read books. Watch motivational videos on YouTube and TikTok. Be kind to yourself in a way that helps you and adds value to your life.
Don’t Over-Emphasize Others’ Opinions
As Neil Pasricha mentioned, we tend to over-emphasize others’ opinions because of a lack of self-confidence. Our self-judgment leads us to either hide things about ourselves or apologize for them.
True Confidence Requires Self-Acceptance
True confidence means having a high opinion of yourself and others. It requires self-acceptance. Just accept the way you are and keep developing.
Ignore the Judgments
When I look at myself ten years ago, I remember how people kept judging me. Even when I started my Ph.D., they also judged me. They asked, “What will you do with this certificate?” At that moment, I realized I had self-confidence. I chose not to listen to those comments. I kept moving forward.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People
I also surrounded myself with great, supportive people. All of us need this kind of person. Family or friends, keep this support system near you. They provide backup and another way of motivation.
Another Small Secret: Do What You Love
Another small secret I want to share: spend your valuable time doing what you love or enjoy. Yes, just do it. Then, think about how you will add value to yourself and others.
Give to Get
Most therapist treatments in the USA now encourage their depression patients to do things by giving. They call it “give to get.” Volunteer. It’s not only about donating money. Give your time and effort as well. When you go to help others, I promise you will feel ten times happier. Seeing yourself help others brings immense joy.
Keep Balance in Your Life
Keep balance in your life. Work well. Sleep well. Eat healthily. Do some exercise, even just walking for ten minutes daily. This will make you feel better and more energetic. Don’t forget that exercise increases your happiness hormone level: dopamine.
Just Be You
Again, as per the happiness equation book, just “be you.” When someone asks, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” that question assumes you have only one goal in life. That simply isn’t true.
You Have Many Things to Do
Instead, you can be you. Every day, you have too many things to do, not only one goal. Be your ikigai, a current purpose that gets you out of bed in the morning.
Ikigai Inspired Me Personally
The book Ikigai inspired me personally and others. When I conducted workshops and highlighted the purpose of life through ikigai, I gave them a simple example from my own life.
My Personal Ikigai
I love happiness and well-being coaching. I do it after working hours. I enjoy it. I am good at it. And people appreciate it. I haven’t yet left an international impact as a public influencer figure. But who knows what the future holds? I am still making my happiness happen with the people around me.
Final Advice
Keep happy and enjoy life. There are so many things we can do here. Just start today.
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