You are having a truly awful day. First, you spilled your coffee. Then, you remember a big project at work that feels impossible to finish. You are even starting to think your own cat is secretly planning against you. You decide to tell a friend how bad you feel, hoping for some support. But your friend just says: “You should be more positive! There’s always a good reason for everything! Just focus on happy thoughts!” Suddenly, your bad day has been joined by a new, more insidious feeling. Congratulations, you’ve just been sprayed with the glitter bomb of toxic positivity. It’s sparkly, it gets everywhere, and it does absolutely nothing to put out the actual mess you’re dealing with.
The Uninvited Glitter Bomb!
“So, what exactly is this party pooper? And who let it in?” Toxic positivity is the overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state to all situations, effectively dismissing any other authentic human emotion. It’s the persistence in using a glitter gun to solve problems that actually require a fire extinguisher.
It’s the emotional equivalent of someone handing you a handful of glitter when you’ve asked for a towel. Sure, it’s attention-grabbing, but now you’re just a sad, dry, and sparkly mess.
Meet the “Vibe Thugs”
This forced cheerfulness shows up in many disguises, all of them equally unhelpful:
- The Silver Lining Detective: “But at least you learned something!” (Excellent, so my failed presentation was just a very loud, public lesson. Fantastic.)
- The Gratitude Bully: “You should be grateful for what you have!” (A classic move that makes your sadness feel guilty for existing.)
- The Emotion Silencer: “Just don’t think about it!” (Because emotionally stuffing things down has never backfired.)
This isn’t real optimism. Genuine optimism has the courage to look a terrible situation in the eye and say, “Wow, this is a mess.” It sits with you in the discomfort. Toxic optimism, on the other hand, just blasts you with more glitter and shouts, “But look how pretty it is now!”
Why This Glitter Bomb Makes a Mess
Here’s the serious part: while the intention might be to “cheer you up,” the impact is a lonely, isolating party for one. When your negative feelings are consistently met with a glitter bomb, you start to believe there’s something wrong with you for having them.
Shake yourself off all you want, but that glitter sticks around. You think, “If I should be happy, and I’m not, then I must be broken.” So, you start to hide your true feelings. You paste on a smile, you fake laugh at the jokes, and you slowly disconnect from yourself and others. This emotional pressure oven doesn’t make the feelings disappear; it just makes them simmer until they boil over as anxiety, resentment, or a deep sense of loneliness.
True emotional health isn’t a non-stop rave. It’s a mixed-genre playlist. It has upbeat dance tracks, sure, but it also has soulful ballads, angry punk rock, and quiet, ambient sounds. Denying the sad songs doesn’t make you a better DJ; it just makes your party one-dimensional and exhausting.
How to Clean Up the Glitter
So, how do we kick the Vibe Vandal out and throw a better, more inclusive party for our feelings? We trade the glitter cannon for a sturdy broom and a dustpan. We replace enforced cheer with authentic connection.
INSTEAD OF: “Good vibes only!”
TRY: “All vibes are welcome here.”
INSTEAD OF: “It could be worse!”
TRY: “That sounds really hard. I’m listening.”
INSTEAD OF: “Just stay positive!”
TRY: “It’s completely okay to not be okay.”
This isn’t about encouraging a pity party. It’s about validation. It’s about letting the sad song play all the way through so everyone can finally leave the dance floor and get some real rest.
A Brief, Bizarre Party Conversation
Shady (The Toxic Positivity Host): “Pam! You’re not dancing! Firstly, you have to manifest joy! Furthermore, if you just choose happiness, consequently, all your problems will vanish! Therefore, let’s see those jazz hands!” [He unleashes a cloud of glitter.]
Pam (The Emotionally Honest Guest): “… However, my joy is currently manifesting as a desire to lie on the floor. For instance, I think my soul needs a nap, and now I’m covered in glitter.”
Shady: “On the other hand, naps are just horizontal adventures! In conclusion, positive energy attracts positive outcomes! Accordingly, do a flip-flop!” [More glitter.]
Pam: “Meanwhile, I’m using my positive energy to positively order a taxi. Ultimately, I need a quiet, glitter-free night in.”
Your New Party Invitation
Life will always have its parties and its quiet nights. Real spring isn’t about being the last one on the dance floor; it’s about knowing when to dance and when to just be still.
So, let’s officially retire the “Good Vibes Only” mantra and its accompanying glitter bomb. It’s a terrible host. Let’s replace it with a more generous, more realistic, and infinitely more welcoming invitation: “Come as you are. All feelings are welcome. Glitter is optional.”
It might not be as flashy, but it promises a better time for everyone. You gotta admit, now that’s an invitation worth accepting.
Stay Connected:
https://www.instagram.com/cosetteawad.author
https://www.instagram.com/executivewomen_
https://www.facebook.com/ExecutiveWomen
Read more articles: https://executive-women.global/en/dont-heal-so-hard-you-forget-how-to-be-a-decent-human-by-cosette-awad/
العربية 
English